For one of my classes, I had to do writing project. One person expressed interest in reading it, so I figured everyone else would want to read it. So here it is.
Loyalty and courage were always very important to Seymour Franklin, and he lived his life accordingly. As such, it should be no surprise that Seymour wanted to join the United States military. He had grown up loving airplanes and it was his dream to fly in the United States Air Force. He made it through training with flying colors, and was selected to pilot an A-10 Thunderbolt II, also known as the Warthog. The ‘Hawg was designed to give close air support to troops on the ground and is also used for some bombing. One of the distinctive characteristics of the A-10 is the Gatling gun mounted on the nose of the plane, which can rip holes in tanks like the Swiss do to their cheese. In addition, it is a very ugly machine, and like every other ugly thing, you don’t want to see it coming at you.
Now Seymour was very excited to engineer this deadly weapon and was excited to go out and start killing the enemy. It just so happens that at the completion of his training, the United States was engaged in a major conflict with the superpower of Groovefunkistan. Seymour waited night and day for the opportunity show off his piloting skills in combat, and sure enough a few days later the call came. As Seymour was lying on his bunk, he heard the loudspeaker crackle to life and a voice said, “All pilots from blue, green, and pink companies report for debriefing.”
Seymour immediately jumped up and ran, ready for action. When he arrived for debriefing he found a seat next to a very large man. Being the outgoing person that he is, Seymour turned to him and asked, “How in the world do you fit into the cockpit?”
The man just laughed and replied, “That’s a good one. My name is Bruce Thuddlemutt, what’s yours?”
Seymour replied, “Seymour Franklin, nice to meet you Bruce. It would appear that we will be flying together, and as such we should be on the lookout for each other.”
Just then the door slammed open, causing everyone to jump. Trumpet fanfare filled the room as a loudspeaker announced, “Introducing your commander, Major Flatus.”
In walked a very big, strong-looking man who said in a deep gruff voice, “I am Major Flatus and will be the commander of this mission. This mission is very important to the nation and will go a long way in ensuring victory against the Groovefunkistanians. This mission does not come without danger, however; they are fully aware of our impending attack and you can expect them to defend themselves at all costs. Some of you, well most of you will probably be killed in a fiery explosion.”
At this point the airmen were appearing to feel less confident in their abilities, but not Seymour because after all he was courageous. In fact, he had never been afraid of anything, except for flunking algebra, and nuclear annihilation. The Major continued, “Now the primary target will be the primary air base of Groovefunkistan, Superfluous Airfield. We are told that they may have secret aircraft and other various weapons held there, and we need to stop them before they can utilize them. The secondary target will be the factory located just to the north of the airfield. This factory is rumored to be churning out the nation’s supply of can openers, and destruction of this facility will cause national hysteria and will leave millions of cans unopened. Now here is the plan, pink company will arrive first in their F-16s and hold off any fighters, at which point blue and green companies will arrive and bomb the crap out of their airport. Let’s get to it.”
The room exploded as people moved toward their aircraft to get ready for takeoff. Seymour hopped into his A-10 to prepare for the flight. He quickly ran through the pre-flight check and was soon taxiing to the runway. At last he was off and on his way for his first mission. As he left the ground, he lifted the gear, set out on the flight plan, and maneuvered into formation. He was the leader of his squadron with Bruce as his wingman.
Not too long into the flight, the sounds of gunfire and explosions could be heard all around Seymour, but they were quickly silenced when he adjusted the radio from the “Sounds of War” station, after all, the Dodgers were playing. Soon, they neared the airfield of target and a major battle could be seen in the sky. Seymour could see what looked like about twenty jets flying around firing missiles and cannon. He called out on his radio, “Remember what our objective is, and look out for each other.”
Within a minute Seymour and his fellow pilots were thrust into the action of the fight. Looking down Seymour could see the smoke from anti-aircraft. He could hear the whistling of missiles that just barely missed him. There were explosions all around him, and the radio was constantly busy with pilots calling out for help and announcing damage. The sky was lit up as bright as day, which probably had something to do with the fact that the sun was shining.
As they got closer to the runway, Seymour called out instructions to his squadron on when to drop their bombs. Finally, they were over the runway and Seymour gave the all clear to drop the bombs. Instantaneously, five A-10s dropped their bombs onto the runway turning it into a cratered mess. Seymour looked to his right to see Bruce and gave him a thumbs-up. Bruce returned the signal just as he was hit by some anti-aircraft fire. A fire broke out and quickly engulfed the plane. Fearing for his wingman’s safety, Seymour frantically looked around. He was relieved to see his friend plummeting to the earth. He quickly told the rest of his squadron to continue with the mission. He then turned around to save his fallen wingman; after all he was very loyal.
Being the logical guy Seymour was, he decided the best thing to do would be to land his plane on the runway they just bombed in order to help Bruce. As he came in for a landing he had to dodge missiles and anti-aircraft fire. Seymour managed to land and somehow missed all of the craters left in the runway as he came to a stop near Bruce. He opened the canopy, lowered the ladder, and climbed out of his aircraft. He ran over to Bruce to see if he was okay. Seymour asked him if he was alright to which Bruce replied, “Yeah I am dandy, luckily this rock broke my fall. Uh-oh.”
Seymour whipped around to see what was happening when he saw a group of Groovefunkistanian soldiers headed their way. Seymour quickly told Bruce, “Take my ‘Hawg and get out of here quickly. I will take care of this.”
Bruce thought that Seymour was absolutely nuts, but since he offered, jumped in the aircraft and took off. Seymour watched as Bruce flew off into the distance, and then turned toward the oncoming soldiers, worried about his fate. The soldiers approached with guns raised. The one who looked like the leader said, “Follow us quietly and we won’t have to fill you with holes.”
Seymour complied because it didn’t seem too bright to argue when outnumbered fifty to one. As they walked along Seymour noticed an A-10 sitting in one of the hangars. How the Groovefunkistanians obtained one and what they were doing with it, Seymour did not know, but he knew his survival depended on taking control of it.
Finally, they arrived at a small run down building with bars. The soldiers forcefully threw Seymour inside and slammed the door shut. The soldiers left except for one, who appeared to be a bit older than the rest. Seymour immediately began hatching out a brilliant plan to escape, but he didn’t want to appear too suspicious. “Hey, I noticed you guys are holding an A-10 hostage.”
“Don’t even think about it,” replied the guard.
Seymour was frustrated as his plan had been foiled. He moved to the back of the cell and began thinking again. He looked at the guard again and noticed that he looked kind of weak and thought to himself, “I could easily take him.”
Seymour walked back to the bars and tried to make conversation with the guard, “My name is Seymour by the way. How do you like living here?”
The guard answered, “I’m Hubert. Living is pretty good we get to dance all the night. Unfortunately, there isn’t as much good music today as when I was a kid.”
Intrigued by this new line of conversation, Seymour pursued it. “When did you grow up?”
Hubert replied, “I grew up in the 50s and 60s, the birth of rock n’ roll.”
“I see,” said Seymour, “I’m feeling kind of tired; I think I will take a short nap.”
“Okay, you’ll want to be plenty rested for the fun that awaits you.”
Seymour moved to the back of the cell to once again think about an escape plan. He looked at Hubert and noticed the keys to the cell on his hip, and using that as his launch pad formulated a plan, but he would need to create a distraction for Hubert. Thirty minutes later Seymour returned to Hubert. “I can’t believe it! There’s Elvis!”
Hubert calmly turned his head. He said, “Yeah it looks as if he has finished his afternoon show.”
Sure enough headed toward their cells, and being escorted by solders, walked the King, Elvis. After all these years he was not dead, but had in fact been captured by Groovefunkistan. At least it looked exactly like Elvis, except he was a lot thinner than Seymour had remembered seeing him. The soldiers locked Elvis into the cell next to Seymour. Seymour just stood there dumbfounded that another plan had been foiled. Hubert said, “I have to leave for a few minutes, be good.”
As soon as Hubert left, Seymour immediately began to once again come up with a brilliant plan. Soon Hubert returned and Seymour looked desolately at him. Hubert felt awkward and asked, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
Seymour replied, “I just noticed that your fly is wide open.”
Embarrassed, Hubert quickly looked to his zipper. Seymour swiftly kicked Hubert causing him to reel to over in pain. Seymour grabbed Hubert and held him against the bars of the cell. Seymour then grabbed the keys, unlocked the cell, and dragged Hubert inside. Seymour knocked out Hubert and switched clothes with him. Seymour walked out of the cell calmly. He threw the keys into the cell next door and yelled, “I’m sure you can find your own way out of here.”
Elvis replied, “Thank you, thank you very much.”
Seymour quickly went to work trying to navigate his way to the hangar where the A-10 was being held. As he was walking, he came upon what appeared to be a club. He wanted to quickly move past, supposing there were officers inside. As he neared the entrance, a couple of soldiers were coming out the door, one of which eyed Seymour very carefully. Finally, he said, “Hubert, you look about forty years younger.”
Seymour panicked a bit and laughed, quickly he thought and replied, “My wife has me on a new exercise regimen, it has taken years off of me.”
The soldier replied, “Ugh. My wife wants me to do the same. Well, I’ll see you around.”
The soldiers walked off and Seymour took one last look at the club before going on his way. Something caught his eye on last glance, and he returned to see what he had seen. On the wall outside the club was a poster announcing that Elvis would be performing. Seymour removed from the wall, knowing that his friends would not believe that he had seen Elvis. With poster in hand, Seymour moved quickly to the hangar where he found the A-10 completely unguarded.
Seymour fired up the engines, just as he heard an alarm. Apparently, someone discovered that Hubert was knocked out in the cell. Seymour quickly taxied the A-10 to the runway and was preparing for takeoff when the guns started. Seymour knew he needed to hurry and went full-throttle. He took off and starting flying off with anti-aircraft and missiles being fired at him, but being the skilled pilot he was, he easily maneuvered his way through and out flew the rogue airfield. Alone and in friendly skies at last, Seymour kicked back, turned on the radio and listened to the Dodgers game.
